It wasn't as if the Algerians played purely negative football, sending 11 men behind the line and waiting the English out. They sought possession, held it, and pressed forward assertively. For most of the first half they looked much more likely to score than their sluggish opponents, and even in the second, they rarely seemed at risk to concede a goal. England, meanwhile, were a 90-minute horror show of clumsy touches, mistimed runs, and balls blasted comically high over the bar. They looked like they were trying to set a record for most unnecessary back passes to the goalkeeper, and they weren't even efficient about it: one of them, from John Terry, was so inept that he nearly gave Algeria a walk-in goal.
As a superfical and intermittent England supporter over the past few years, it's the play of these three mega-stars that bugs me the most. Why do they work so poorly together? After the match, ESPN's Alexei Lalas scoffed, "maybe they're just not that good." An appopriate sentiment given the display on the field, but can't be the final analysis; it needs to be explained. Because in club football, Lampard, Gerrard, and Rooney have been as good as it gets -- the anchors (and key goal-scorers) for the three top teams in the English Premiership -- Chelsea, Liverpool, and Manchester United -- and probably three of the top five or ten teams in the world since 2004. It's not all English media hype.
So why do they combine so poorly? Is it tactical? It was easy to blame ex-coach Sven-Goran Eriksson, whose England teams often looked sleepy and awkward, but this was a vintage Sven-level performance from the Big Three. Current skipper Fabio Capello, despite his £10m art collection, love of Tolstoy, and impressive managerial record, doesn't seem to have found the answers. Is it chemical? They don't like each other? Psychological? They're battered by the abusive and demanding English media, and hate playing for the national team? Physical? They're exhausted by the long club season? Help me out here, because I'm as bereft ideas as the English midfield today...