In his comment on the last post, dear old dad observes that "hyperbole suits the game because goals are so rare, so difficult, so longed for, that when they finally arrive even the most mundane is trailing clouds of glory." Right. Soccer's lack of scoring-- and even beyond scoring, the relative lack of measurable, discrete sports 'events' (plays, at bats, shots, etc) -- forces commentators to stretch themselves in pursuit of a qualitative vocabulary to describe the action on the field. And when it comes to goals, and goal-threats in general, the tendency is natural to reach for language that suitably reflects the mystery, the glory, the cruel unlikely beauty that surrounds them.
A few of my favorite examples (surely dreary cliches to regular followers of English soccer, but still charmingly full of life to this once-every-couple-years fan):
A few of my favorite examples (surely dreary cliches to regular followers of English soccer, but still charmingly full of life to this once-every-couple-years fan):
"Talisman"/"talismanic" - A magically potent player (usually a striker or attacker) on whose shoulders the fate of his entire team rests. I.e., "Drogba, a talismanic presence on this Ivory Coast side, returns to the pitch on Saturday against Brazil." I love the pagan, primordial echo here -- surely a player who can deliver goals at any regular interval is favored by the gods. Pete L'Official at the Atlantic has more good stuff here.
"Menace"/"menacing" - A goal is at risk of being conceded. Less obviously striking than "talisman," I still love it when one of the British commentators says, "And now he's given up a free kick in a position of some menace." I think the concept of 'danger' and its cousins have a place in most sports vocabularies, but they're most pronounced in soccer, where scoring is a divine apotheosis but being scored on is an event akin to death.
I also enjoy the species of (again, presumably genteel/middle class/Oxbridgean) cliches that analogize the game to a kind of high-stakes academic seminar:
"Menace"/"menacing" - A goal is at risk of being conceded. Less obviously striking than "talisman," I still love it when one of the British commentators says, "And now he's given up a free kick in a position of some menace." I think the concept of 'danger' and its cousins have a place in most sports vocabularies, but they're most pronounced in soccer, where scoring is a divine apotheosis but being scored on is an event akin to death.
I also enjoy the species of (again, presumably genteel/middle class/Oxbridgean) cliches that analogize the game to a kind of high-stakes academic seminar:
'It's a two-part queston for Mr. Capello...'
"Ask some questions" -- to put some pressure on, i.e., "And Ghana is now beginning to ask some questions of the Uruguay defense." Ooh, questions! Like, complicated ones that you might not know the answer to. How terrifying.
"Out of ideas"/"Bereft of ideas" -- the converse of the above: a team that is has no questions to ask, and is applying no pressure, i.e., "And England, at the moment, look completely bereft of ideas agains this rugged Algerian defence." I love that there's no more fatal indictment of an entire soccer team than to say that they have no ideas. I want to apply that to American sports, where it is desperately needed. Do you know who was truly bereft of ideas? JIM FUCKING ZORN. The entire Washington Redskins offense. I hope they've spent all offseason reading Hegel, Emerson, Kierkegaard and other folks high in the idea-density department, because they need to load up.
"Out of ideas"/"Bereft of ideas" -- the converse of the above: a team that is has no questions to ask, and is applying no pressure, i.e., "And England, at the moment, look completely bereft of ideas agains this rugged Algerian defence." I love that there's no more fatal indictment of an entire soccer team than to say that they have no ideas. I want to apply that to American sports, where it is desperately needed. Do you know who was truly bereft of ideas? JIM FUCKING ZORN. The entire Washington Redskins offense. I hope they've spent all offseason reading Hegel, Emerson, Kierkegaard and other folks high in the idea-density department, because they need to load up.
Other less grand and intellectual but still charming soccer Anglicisms include "sick as a parrot" (sad), "pipped at the post" (caught at the last second), "done and dusted" (the game is over), and of course, "squeaky-bum time" (crunch time).